How reminding yourself of just how much you’ve overcome in the past can help you to pivot in the present

When you’re chronically ill, it can spark hope in the lowest of times.

I NEEDED to see this.

Here’s a little story..

Last week, my specialist told me that Covid has damaged my blood vessels. Not only that, but I’m going to have a scan to see if there’s a “hole in my heart”. Whilst holding the deepest gratitude for my absolutely incredible medical team, there are so many emotions.

Partly relieved to have answers; partly-bewilderingly-devastated.

Blood vessels damaged!? Hole in the heart!? Am I dreaming?

MORE trauma.

I missed my close cousin’s wedding — an occasion that I should have been at. I spent the day crying at home.

I experienced my first social anxiety attack — being in a crowd of people felt like ‘covid danger’ for me. I hadn’t experienced that before…it was intense.

Life is somewhat back to normal now for most people, only I’m not able to live mine — I’m in limbo, hibernating at home, like others who are chronically ill.

I’m not having the vaccine yet due to having multiple organ damage as a result of covid. This means I’m likely to be more vulnerable to reinfection.

The weight of this all has been really hard to cope with…

I found this little picture that I’d created months ago on my computer. I’ve written many motivational quotes to myself for when I need them the most.

It was a beautiful moment — a message from myself to myself, on a day that was really tough.

It gave me perspective.
It helped me to pivot.
It gave me hope.

I thought back to those many times when I couldn’t talk or walk at ALL. It still happens now, only it doesn’t last for weeks. I remember it like it was yesterday…

Thanks to my life saving team, I’ve gone from not being able to walk or talk at all, to now, being able to talk for about 45 minutes without feeling short of breath and walk very slowly for 20 minutes once a week (if I sit in silence for the day).

It doesn’t mean “I’ve come this far so I should be happy with where I’m at” — no.

It means, I honour my healing journey — my progress — my transformation.

This picture helped me to move forward in a time when I felt frozen with overwhelm.

It’s funny how just a few sentences can create such profound shifts.

It’s happened many times in my life; that’s why I appreciate the power of words so much.

I know that I’ll need to come back to this again.

So now I’m sharing this sentiment with you…may it help to bring you a sprinkle of hope and empowerment, like it did for me.

Love Jasmine x

For regular updates about my recovery, follow me on Instagram: @Jasminehayer_